Dinner Dinner What's For Dinner says Dozy?

Dinner time in my house can sometimes turn into a complete chaotic crying mess. My son is a tank and an eating machine but for some reason dinner time can sometimes be his most difficult time of the day. He is a very opinionated little boy for almost 3 and has no problem expressing his opinion when it comes to what we are having for dinner. One day he likes pasta salad the next it’s being called yucky, disgusting, or that tastes nasty. This kind of behavior has been going on for some time and once my husband and I really started to notice this was becoming a regular occurrence we began involving both of our children in the discussion of lunch and dinner.

Now this was working and when my son felt the need to express his ever changing opinions of dinner we could fire right back at him son this is what you picked, this was your choice. Well that worked for about a minute because my son soon realized he could all together refuse to eat. We have gone through plenty of nights having my son throw his plate off of the table or drop it altogether onto the floor. This too will only get him so far, it's called a trip down the hall to his bedroom for the time being. Now my son would not starve by any means if he were to miss a meal but this isn't how my house works.

Nate is a very smart little boy and he definitely knows how to work both mom and dad. If he cries, screams and kicks his door hard enough and long enough someone will let him out. Once everyone has calmed down my son is allowed to come back to the table to finish, and from here out he will eat anything you put in front of him. That nasty pasta salad has just become his favorite, and the chicken he threw onto the floor is now delicious. I don't know why but I see that on some nights he has to have complete control of how his dinner time is conducted.

Our dinners are not perfect and most of the time are carried out while my daughter is squawking like a bird, my son is crying saying he doesn't want to eat and my husband and I are trying to eat as fast as we can before someone has to be feed or marched off to their room. We sit down as a family and try and eat as a family but some nights it just doesn't work. So we chock this up to better luck next time and give the orders “I want jammies, pull-ups, and teeth brushed. It’s time for bed!"

Sometimes we all need a break

Happy weekend to all of you who are stopping by. Billie and I would like to say; hey everyone needs a break! So this weekend we are takin a break to wrangle our kids. Have you missed a post? I hope not but todays your day to take a look at what you may have missed. Have you seen that hotdog? Do you have a little one you’re prepping for kindergarten? Well you may just want to scroll down and see what you can find. Have you left us a comment or are you worried what others might think? Oh well hell, we can’t please everyone say hey and let us know if you like what you’re seeing. We’re just two regular moms, we’re not fake and we’re not phony! We’re a lot like you, just trying to survive this thing called motherhood.

A Paranoid Mom

 

Let’s face it I am beyond paranoid, some would call me a freak. There are just certain things I will not let my son do that others are doing at his age. Playing in the front yard with little to no supervision is not an option in my house. An adult has to be outside at all times while my son is playing; mind you an adult I trust with my son. I live in a cul-de-sac and we have become quite good friends with our neighbors thank goodness. My son is 7 and I see younger kids than he playing out front by themselves, however I cannot let him. I am just so paranoid someone is going to take him, or he won’t see that car coming to check their mail and run out in the street. Walk or ride his bike to school by himself, that’s a big hell now! A few of his classmates had started walking or riding their bikes to school this last year in first grade. I won’t let my son walk or ride down our main street in our subdivision to school alone. I don’t think a 7 year is responsible enough to get to school on time and make the right chooses. As I said I am very paranoid. Play tackle football ehhh lets stick with flag until you’re in at least Jr. high school. Just the sound of the helmets hitting makes my stomach turn. I couldn’t imagine my son in there and having to watch him. For the last 2 years he has begged to play tackle football. I just think he is too fragile to play that tough of a sport right now. If you knew my son you would think otherwise. He is 100% boy. But I can’t handle watching my son get hurt. About 3 or 4 years ago my boyfriend got my son a Yamaha dirt bike for Christmas. I did not think it was a good idea and I still don’t think it is. When he was 4 he had training wheels to go on it. Well now he is a big boy, and he doesn’t need them. Mind you he probably goes faster on his bicycle and he has more safety gear on when he is riding his dirt bike than you can imagine. I just cannot stand the sound of his dirt bike starting up, and knowing he is out there riding on it. My stomach hurts, my mind goes to a million places and won’t stop till that damn thing shuts off. So now I just stay home when they go out riding. I can’t deal. Sometimes I feel like I am so paranoid and the craziest mom out there. But if anything I mean anything that I could control happened to my son I would lose it. Please tell me I am not the only paranoid mom out there.

My Bun In The Oven Had Been Cooked

It was December 26^th and I was sitting in my doctor’s office. It was my due date and I was impatiently waiting for my water to break or my baby to fall out or just something to happen. I was huge, my daughter’s feet were stuck in my ribs and I was in pain. I wanted to meet my little girl that I’d been dreaming about. In my dreams she was so small with blonde hair and the most precious thing I had ever seen. Tick tock tick tock, I just sat there watching the clock. My appointment was for 9 in the morning and it was already 9:20. Hello, already at 9 am they’re running behind. But running late is the story of my life so hey I guess it wasn’t anything new.

Finally they call me back. My husband helps me out of the chair and I waddle my ass to my room to sit and wait some more. They always leave you waiting. The Dr. walks in and does all the measuring and asks how I’m doing. I say hello I’m ready to blow, it’s my due date. He then asks my husband and I if we want to try and naturally induce. My husband, not I, gives him the go ahead to scrape the membrane, now I will say if you are pregnant and your Dr. asks you this just know it is PAINFUL! But I can honestly say I was thrown into labor within a half an hour, it worked for me. I was taken in for an ultrasound to make sure baby was in good condition.  All was clear and I was sent home.

 It took until about 5 in the evening for the major contractions to hit. My baby was coming, I was ecstatic and scared. I will cut this story short by saying the next several hours went by with a whole lot of huffing and puffing and several phone calls to the labor and delivery nurses. I made it to 5 am when my husband woke up to find me bent over the couch in tears with another hard contraction hitting. He grabbed my bags and out the door we headed.

I felt every bump and pothole in the road, and if you’ve ever been to Spokane you know our roads suck! We arrive at the hospital and I’m bound and determined I am going to walk the last little bit to my saving grace called an epidural. I refuse the wheelchair my husband is trying to put me in and start off to the elevator. But we were lost in the hospital. Unlike the smart ones out there we didn’t take the tour of the hospital, I didn’t think we’d need it. Word of advice always know where you are going in a situation like this before you’re in the middle of labor. Thanks to a nice little lady seeing that I was hunkered down huffing and puffing away guided my husband and I to the labor and delivery floor. My nurses seen me coming, we had chatted several times through the night and immediately they seen I had had enough. My epidural was on the way.

The next few hours were a blur; I was high as a kite on an epidural. Life was good. But I had spiked a fever, the next thing I know my nurse is explaining to me that they need to give me some Tylenol but I can’t drink anything. I ask so what’s that mean? She looked at me and explained it’s going to have to go in your butt. What what what my butt? The first thing that pops in my head after hearing this is oh god and I blurt out is it going to hurt? She laughs at me and says I’m pretty sure you’re not going to feel anything you’re numb from your boobs down. Oh yea that’s right the epidural, thank god for that.

So here I am all drugged up and now with a fever. But they’re still telling me everything looks good baby is doing good but we need to give you something to speed this along. My husband is with me and my bff Christina. My parents we in AZ and my inlaws were in Alaska because my sister in law had just had a baby as well. But I was good I had the best two people in my corner that I could have had at that time.

Before I even knew it the nurses were telling me ok were going to start pushing now. I’m thinking wow wow let me have a practice one first but no go. I was pushing! And I pushed and pushed and pushed. My daughter was not coming out. Nurses are worried about her head coming through I’m thinking if her head won’t fit how the hell are her shoulders going to come through. So I ask what’s going happen here and they bring in a chair. I don’t know exactly what that chair was about but I never had to climb into it. I pushed for two and a half hours, I was exhausted falling asleep between contractions, the epidural was wearing off, I’d thrown up and I wasn’t sure how much more I can take.  The baby just wouldn’t come out.

My Dr. walks in and gives me two options, you can push for another two hours and she may come out or we can just go with a C section.  My husband and I couldn’t say C-section fast enough.  Wham bam before I know it I’m being whisked away and back to huffing and puffing.

Things moved so fast in my delivery that most of it was a blur and before I knew it I hear this tiny little squeak, she was out. Then things got really scary. I had a fever that never broke my daughter had been cooking inside of me all afternoon while I just sat back and watched TV.  We are asking if she is ok and the only thing they will tell us is your baby has been under a lot of stress, over and over they just keep repeating this to us. Then we finally hear that first cry that we’ve been waiting 9 months to hear. Again asking is she ok is everything ok? Only to hear your baby has been under a lot of stress. I can hear the doctors taking about my fever and vitals and stress and the baby. All I want to know is she ok? And what is all this talk about stress? What does that mean? Then finally dad is allowed to see her and cut the cord. I was finally able to see our precious baby. Our baby was born at 7:46pm, December 27^th, 7lbs 3oz and 19 ½ inches. She had almost black hair and a very dark complexion. Nothing compared to my blond hair, green eyes and fair complexion. If I hadn’t seen everything happening I truly would have thought she was someone else’s baby. But she was ours and a complete combination of my husband and I, I just had to see through the dark hair and complexion. Now at 5 years old she is as fair as can be with hair that’s now a dark blonde. She still continues to change every day.

I still don’t know what all “your baby has been under a lot of stress” meant and at this point I don’t care! My daughter is healthy, happy, and a normal 5 year old little girl. That’s all the matters!

My Kindergarten Nightmare

My son will be starting 2nd grade this year. It wasn’t so long ago that we faced that dreaded day for my baby to start kindergarten. It was a bitter sweet day that’s for sure. Bitter, because my only child was not a baby anymore. He was really a big boy and going to big boy school. And oh so sweet because day care was just way too expensive and that was one thing I could cut out of my budget.

From about the time he turned 4 years old all he could talk about was going to the big school Kindergarten. We did the count down from months, weeks, then to days. We went to meet the teacher night and he was even more excited to start on the following Monday. I Thought this is going to be so hard on me and he is going to be the champ, he is going to be a little rock star.

Little did I know. That Monday morning he was so excited for big school. We got him dressed in his new clothes; new shoes, packed his lunch, and gathered all his supplies his teacher requested. Off to school we drove.

We walked in and the nightmare began. Those big I can’t wait to go to big school eyes turned into big crocodile tears and fears. This huge dream was now a reality for my little guy. He was so scared. A new teacher, a bunch of new kids he has never seen before, and this huge class room. He held on to me for dear life and all he could say was, “Mommy, I want to go back to the red school.” The red school was his daycare that he had been going to for the last 3 years. He had made good friends and the teachers there were awesome. I spent the next 30 minutes trying to calm him down but anything I told him he would just disregard.

After about 30 minutes I am the only parent left in the classroom and still tending to my crying son. The teacher walks over to me and kindly says, “You are going to have to leave! He will be fine once you leave.” I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving my son crying and in an unfamiliar place, but she was right I knew as soon as I left he would be fine.

As I left that class room my son now bawling screaming for me to come back I just looked back at him with tears in my eyes and blew him a kiss and wished him a good day. As I walked out to my car I too was crying. My whole day was horrible; every time I thought about him I would cry. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was ok, wonder if he was still crying for me.

School let out at 3:05 and I was there early so I could get him and talk to the teacher to see how the rest of the day went. She said it was fine and that he cried a little more and then he was ok. He had a great first day of kindergarten. I would love to say the second day was a breeze. It was not but it wasn’t as hard as the first day that’s for sure. By day 3 he was getting the hang of it.

Sometimes kids look forward to starting new things and then realize it’s not exactly what they had thought it was going to be. They too have fears and we try to comfort them as much as possible. If I had let my motherly instinct take over at this moment, I would have took Landon from that class that day and probably never took him back. I knew that was not reality but don’t let this momma make you think that thought didn’t cross my mind. I was scared, sad, and had the same fear he had. Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs out there.

A Tiny Little Girl With A Big Voice

My daughter is five and she is getting ready for the Big K. Yep she's going to kindergarten. I am completely freaked out about this but hey, its part of life and we all made it through it. My daughter is a tiny little thing, she is 37lbs and small, I will not classify her as short yet just small. Most people on the outside see her as a shy little girl who is quiet, but the people who are part of the inner circle see her as a little girl with a gigantic voice.

She flutters around like a fairy always on the move and on the go. She will not stand still for anything and she seems to speak in her highest most loudest little voice she can. Now maybe you can see why I am a little worried about kindergarten. If she is outside playing and you are not doing what she wants exactly how she wants it, you can hear her two blocks over. Everyone in the neighborhood knows when my daughter is outside. She will see you coming a house or two down and she sounds just like she's in your ear screaming HELLO! If the neighborhood is quiet then you know my daughter is up to no good.

I love her little voice, her library voice, her beautiful singing voice and even once in a while her whiney voice. But let me tell you what her loud shrills, barking, squawking, and complete lack of understanding the phrase "You don't have to be so loud!" are making me crazy. It never stops and heavens forbid she and my son get into a fight. The dinner table is a disaster, she has to say her peace at all times, and she is that child you hear clear across the grocery store.

I am really hoping that once she goes to school this will calm down and if not I am sure her kindergarten teacher and I are going to become good friends. I am beginning to think my daughter has taken on the motto, I might be small but you'll damn well know when I'm talking to you!

A Work From Home Mom

I started working from home late February of this year for a large moving company. It requires me to be on the phone most of the day and the house to be quiet. It has been a huge blessing. I no longer have to pay for daycare. I don't have to worry so much about gas prices because I don't have to spend money on gas like a normal 9-5er. I can make healthier food choices and I don't to go out to eat all the time. If it’s in the frig then its fair game. I no longer have to fight rush hour traffic, fueled with road rage. Unless you consider my sons mattress and my couch pillows scattered all over my living room floor traffic. But even the couch pillows can sometimes cause a little road rage.

However, this summer has been a nightmare. Yea, so I don't have to pay for daycare but what the hell do I do with my 7 year old all day when I need the house quiet anywhere from 6-8 hours at a time? Well, I am lucky enough to have family that is willing to take him a day or two at a time but still that is only a day or two out of a week. I try to throw in day camp and other fun activities but that still leaves a day or two that my little bugger is home with me.

My son is a typical 7-year-old boy. He will sit and watch TV and movies for a while but then comes the snacks that seem to never end. Then he's off to bang on my office door," Whatch ya doin mom" Really, I have told him how many times I am working and you have to be quiet? I have about a fifty fifty shot of him keeping quiet after he burst through that door. I know that eventually I will hear that doorknob turn and I just hope that I am not on a call with a customer when he burst through.

Just the other day he came into my office 4 times while I was on one call. The first 3 times he comes in, I cannot understand what he is saying, he is trying to be quiet and mouth the words but hey I am not a lip reader and he's out a breath. He is super excited and trying to show me something, I’m connected to a headset, I cannot look, not right now. The fourth time he comes in he just says "Look MOM!" I turn to look out into my living room and see that my son, who is only 51lbs, has managed not only to get his full size mattress off his bed but he has also dragged it out his door and down the hallway into the living room. I do a double take, is that your mattress? Yea it is his mattress. He has pulled it out so he can wrestle the couch pillows.

I get up to walk into my living room and here comes my son, "look mom check this move out!" as he does a flying wrestling leap to tackle a couch pillow. I don’t know weather to scold him for doing it or to be proud of him for managing to get that mattress all the way to the living room. My son just stands there beaming with pride and to be honest I probably would have been proud of him too if I had not been on a work call. The things that kids will do to entertain themselves. I tell ya, its something new everyday.

The other thing that, well just flat out sucks, is that working form home the neighborhood kids think they can come over to my house because I am home. I'm home but that doesn't mean that my son is home, remember I have a great support system with him and family willing to help. I have asked, scolded, screamed, and just flat out been rude explaining to these kids that you cannot come to my house during the day I work from home. Do you think that stops them from ringing my damn doorbell? Hell no! It just seems to encourage them to ring it over and over and knock in between, which only gets my Chihuahua barking. Really! I'm sorry, if I haven't answered the door bell on the first ring I'm not going to answer and if I do come to the door by this time my blood pressure is sky high and I'm through the roof. Watch out this mom is about to flip her lid!

So needless to say, this work from home mom needs summer to end. I have three weeks until school starts and they cannot come fast enough! Thank God, my state starts early!

An Unprepared Momma

I took my kiddos to a splash pad at one of our local parks the other day. I figured hey a little fun in the sun could do us all a little good, well that was the plan at least. I pack the sunscreen plenty of cold beverages, a giant bag of snacks, and a brand new book. I thought I was prepared! What turned out to be a fun day at the park turned into what I will call literally a shit mess!!

The first time my son, who is almost three and on the tail end of potty training said he had to go potty momma was off and running for the bathroom. I come out of the bathroom beaming with joy, thinking to myself my son is potty trained, it has been 4 days since we had and accident things are looking good in this department. Well that’s what I thought; I had a big surprise in store for me just around the corner.

We marched back to our blanket to resume our fun in the sun, and my son trots off to go play with his sister. About 5 minutes go by and my son comes running back,” Momma I have to go potty!” Now this time I'm thinking he wants to go play in the bathroom, he doesn't need to pee he just went. So I send him on his way and say go play. The next thing I know my son in running at me, “Momma I have to go pee I have to go pee!” Now he is grabbing his butt. Uh oh!!! We take off running. The whole time I am thinking to myself please God do not let anything fall out please do not let anything fall out, we can make it, we're almost there. Yeah, we didn’t make it. And this is where a very unprepared momma comes into play. I pull his pants down and sit him on the potty to find we have gotten poo all over this bathroom stall. I'm beginning to panic, what do I do? Toilet paper is doing no good and where are the wipes? Oh yea, the wipes are on the counter in the bathroom at home. Now normally this is a good place for them to be but today was not the day. We were out and about and I should have had them there in my purse along with a new pair of shorts. But nope, not this mom, and not today. Now I am really starting to panic. How am I going to get him clean, out of the bathroom, into his car seat and home?

I leave him sitting in the stall and open the bathroom door praying my daughter was within sight. Thankfully, she was looking right at me when I opened the door and I was able to yell for her to bring me brother’s towel. Bingo, I did bring towels for the kids this just may save the day after all. But the big question of the matter was still how am I going to get my son clean enough to get him out of the bathroom and home. So now, I have a towel to wrap him in but there’s still the whole poo issue. Damn it why won’t you just come off already! I poke my head back out of the bathroom to scan the crowd. Who is an approachable momma our here and who will have wipes? And will the little girl who is spraying me with the water fountain please stop! Then I find my saving grace, another mom with two little ones who is sitting at a picnic table. I send my daughter into the bathroom to sit with her brother and make sure he stays on the potty. Now I am a very shy person, I have always been one of those over prepared people to avoid such situations like this. I pick my head up, take a deep breath and approach her asking for help. Thankfully, she was a very nice woman who was prepared with wipes and we were able to exchange a good laugh over the situation. I run back to the bathroom wipes in hand.

Now here is the final problem. What to do with my sons shorts. I don't want to throw them away, I mean come on its just a little poo and that washes out LOL. Cha ching no one is in the stall next to me, so I do the old-fashioned dip and swish. Dip and swish. Now I know this isn't what other mothers may have done but hey, it worked for me. I bundle my naked son place him on my hip, throw my purse on the other shoulder, and carry a soaking wet pair of swim trunks as far away from my body as possible. Sorry I just did not want these things dripping down my legs. All right change of plans kids. We rolled in here like a bat outta hell and now were rolling home just as fast. I pack up the blanket and yell at my son not to let his towel slip. All right lets head for the car kids.

As I type this out for all of you to ponder, I cannot help but laugh at myself and rerun through my head how I will never ever let this happen again. #1, never never leave home without wipes ever again. #2 always bring a pair of extra shorts and undies. And #3, its better to make a wasted trip to the bathroom than wash shit out of your kids swim trunks!

Hello and Welcome

I would like to start off and say thanks for taking a moment to check out The Ugly Truth Of Motherhood. I would like to let you know that we are still in the beginning stages of developing our blog so from time to time you may notice some changes, bear with us please. We're just two regular moms who have an idea and want to try and make the best of it.

 

We are a blogging duo who is here to try and bring a funnier side to the trials and tribulations of motherhood. We've all had those days that come along from time to time where your kids are going crazy and you are being pushed to the edge. We want to be here to help you push back and let you know that you are not alone! Has your son or daughter said or done something that has made you want to drop your head and slip out the back door? Well if so, we want to hear about. Motherhood is a challenge and with your help we'd like to show other mothers just how we've all got through those tough times where the light at the end of the tunnel has just become but a pin prick of light.

 

So on that note, welcome to what we hope will be the best damn mommy blog you've come across, vent your frustrations and let it fly.

How I found out I was pregnant

When most people find out that they are pregnant, they are so happy and excited and cannot wait to tell everyone. However, my story is a little different.

I was in my prime, 22 years old. All about having fun, drinking, and meeting new people. One weekend my BFF Joy and I went on a 4-day trip to Vegas. Oh how we were going to party it up in Vegas, just the 2 of us girls. Or so we thought. The first morning of our trip, we had breakfast at a pancake house and we ate and ate and ate a lot. Then we were off to see the town. First stop Excalibur.

 

Standing there watching a magic show my stomach begins to feel a little queasy and starts to turn…. I ask myself “Am I feeling nauseous?” HMMMM I must have over ate at breakfast, yep that’s it. Or was the food bad? Yeah maybe that’s it. I look at Joy realizing what is about to happen to tell her I need to go to the bathroom ASAP! I make a run for the bathroom praying I can find one and then make it there in time. Please God do not let me puke in front of all these strangers. Phew, I made it but just just in time. But can you imagine what you‘d be thinking if you saw some random stranger doubled over in one of those fake tree pots losing her breakfast? Not a sight I wanted to make a reality. Well I just wasted some good money on breakfast. I guess it must be these casino cocktails and I catch a buzz faster, no big deal. I felt better for the time being and hey I was in Vegas, let’s hit the town. The rest of our vacation went well, we didn’t drink too much and we did more site seeing then anything. We rode the roller coasters, played some slots, and I won $13 on the penny slots. Whoo hoo.

The day after we got back home, I had a doctor’s appointment. You see, I had missed my period and I was late. Not just late but well over a month late. Before going to Vegas I had taken 4, yes I said 4, at home pregnancy test. All signs showing negative. I thought there was something else wrong with me. A cyst on my ovaries something like that, who knows with us women. Crazy things can happen.

I go to the doctor tell her that I have taken 4, yes I said 4 again, pregnancy test and all of them gave me a pretty little negative sign. So, something else must be wrong! She then asks all of the basics, are you sick to your stomach? Have you thrown up at all? Do your boobs hurt? Yes… yes…yes… yes….F**k…. NO! This can’t be!

 

I walk in to the bathroom with my little yellow top, pee cup in tow. Knowing damn well I am going to pee on my hand. So I fill my cup like a good girl, put it in the silver door, wash my peed on hands, and try to hold it together. As I shut the bathroom door and head for my room, I notice the doctor right behind me. I walk in the room and she shuts the door. No don’t say it, it’s not true, this can’t be, and then she spills it, “Billie you are pregnant, usually these test take 5 minutes. I dipped yours and it was positive in seconds.” Let the freaking water works begin.

 

I am not ready to be a mom! I don’t want kids! I am still too young to be a freaking mom! How am I going to pull this off? Worst of all, the babies’ dad! How do I tell him? I have seen this guy a few times but I don’t know much about him. This should go over real well! But first off, I need to tell my mom.

 

So I call my momma crying. “What’s wrong?” she says. I manage to get out the dreaded words “I’m pregnant!” And to my surprise, my mom couldn’t be happier. The first thing out of her mouth is “You’re not getting married are you?” Yep, that’s right! My mom did not want me to get married. And of course, I told her no. I wasn’t getting married I barely new the guy.

I then proceeded to tell her things like, how can I love someone more then I love myself? How can I take care of a tiny little baby? Mom, I don’t even like kids! Then we started laughing and crying together. My mom was as happy as a pig in shit (as my dad would say) but for me it was a real shocker.

I had to grow up and I had only a few months to pull it together. I knew it would be tough and it was and still is.

However, I wouldn’t change my little love bug for the life of me. He has made me become a better person! He does test my patients on a regular bases but that’s what kids do!

No, I do not want to take that test!

All my bags were packed and we were ready to go. I had two suit cases packed and gigantic box of tampons tucked inside. My period was coming I just new it and it was going to hit while my husband and I were on vacation. Not exactly how you want to spend you vaca with the hubby. However, we were on our way to Arizona and I was going home. As were sitting at the airport I’m calculating in my head how long it has been since my last, not so nice friend reared her ugly head. No, I’m not late I’m just stressed about this trip. I’m not a good flyer and once we land, I’m sure that damn thing is just around the corner.

Let me back track for just a minute. My husband and I had been trying for months to get pregnant. I had had a miscarriage the year before that devastated me. I wanted so badly to look into the eyes of a beautiful baby and know that it was mine, and my husband and I created it. I wanted to be a mom. But enough of that story this is a happy story and we have left what has happened in the past.

 

So here I am in AZ and still no bloody show, damn why is this just dragging on like this. I’m never like this. Oh yea, I can explain I’m on vacation and I’m stressed to the max. Slowly I start to notice my tampons are dwindling, well I know I am not using them so where the hell are they going. Yep that little shit sister of mine has been snooping in my suitcase again. Oh well if she needs em then use em, just make sure I have at least one to get me to the store. And over the next few days I watch all of them disappear , I don’t say a peep to anyone because I don’t think that I‘m pregnant, looking back I think I can say I was in denial. I can’t help but think that if this damn monster shows after all I’m going to have to use a big ass roll of TP shoved in my undies just to get to the store, and hope that I don’t lose it out the side of my pant leg onto the floor. Well I guess you can say I never had to worry about that.

 

The days of my vacation were quickly passing and the hubs and I were due to spend a night out on the town with my bestie, Billie and her other half Curt. So out to dinner we go to one of my favorite restaurants. Margaritas and Mexican food were delivered. But for some reason the margarita didn’t taste very good and all I had been able to think about that day was how damn good that cold icy beverage was going to taste. Yeah no go on that one. And why do I have an upset stomach? Oh, it’s just the heat. Yep it’s the heat. It’s making me not want to eat and upsetting my stomach. So from dinner we were on to dancing, and I’m still not feeling very well. Do I want a drink? NO if I drink anything, I’m going to be sick. This is not good, am I coming down with the flu? NO no I keep reminding myself , it’s the heat, I haven’t been home in a while and well the inside of an oven never really felt very good. From here, we’re off to the good ole strip club; the girls were taking the men out now. Two strip clubs later and a few dollars down, I begin to notice the most erotic, yes erotic, smell coming off of my husband. Now by no means was this something that had been smeared, wiped, or rubbed on my man by one of those pole dancers. It was the most wonderful sexy smell I had ever smelt before. I couldn’t get enough of it, I wanted to crawl under his chin and camp there. The rest of our vacation went on still with no show of the red dawn and it didn’t matter if my husband had come out of the shower or had been outside all day he smelled wonderful!

 

Now we’re heading home and my husband asks, “Is flow late?” I quickly reply with something along the lines, as I don’t know lets not talk about it. I am terrified to take a pregnancy test, I want so badly to see that little pink plus sign but I am scared. My husband just sits back and laughs. “Your pregnant, I know it!” No, No I’m just late I respond back. Now that we are home, I’m sure that my body is going to kick into gear and shed that liner. It’s late and I’m exhausted, I’ve got to work tomorrow. No more thinking lets just shut it down.

 

Hmmm, I’m not feeling so hot the next day. Full day of work and Billie said something about Curt having a stomach bug. I so have the stomach bug, that’s what I’ve convinced myself. I manage to make it through the day and I’m on my way home. Oh God, I’m going to lose my lunch. I cannot pull over and I have nothing in my truck to use as a catchall. I’m almost home, I can do this, keep it together, and most important breath.

 

I wipe into my parking spot and run full out sprint up my 13 steps. I burst through the door bypassing the hubs and the glad to see you smooch, to bury my head in the bowl of the toilet and release my inner exorcist. I get up to see my husband standing in the door with a smile on his face. “You’re pregnant!” Shut up, I have the stomach flu I fire right back at him. He just stands there laughing, telling me that I need to go get a pregnancy test. I refuse to do it, I don’t want to pee on a stick, and I’m not wasting good money on a stupid pregnancy test that is going to show a little pink negative sign. So off to the store goes my husband, already beaming like a proud papa. I lay down on the sofa feet propped over the side. I’m scared, nervous, and anxious. He is going to make me take the test. A million things are running through my head and I’m trying to out run the images flashing before me. I close my eyes still reeling from the taste in my mouth that I cannot get rid of. I hear the door open and voice from the kitchen, honey I’m home and I brought you something.

 

The tears begin for form as he hands me a small bag from the drug store. I protest one more time, “Really, your going to make me do this?” I knew I had lost this battle. I grabbed the box and we headed for the bathroom.

I take my time reading the instructions, making sure that I knew exactly how this worked. I do my business and hand the test over to the man. Carefully he places it on the counter and we set the kitchen timer for 3minutes. We sit on the couch staring off into nothing. Things were about to change and I new they were, I was just in denial. Then the timer goes off, my husband races for the bathroom where we had left the test.

 

I can see in his eyes exactly what the results were. I quickly snatch it away from him in disbelief. Right before my eyes is what I have been dying to see for so many months. My prayers had been answered. We were going to be parents.

Our baby girl was a planned pregnancy, I was 25 and my husband was 30. We were ready, at least we thought we were, but in life no one is every really prepared for parenthood. But the moment they place your baby in your arms there isn’t anything you can’t overcome and there isn’t anything you wouldn’t do for your child. It’s a crazy rollercoaster with its ups and downs but it’s the best rollercoaster of life that never ends.