An Unprepared Momma

I took my kiddos to a splash pad at one of our local parks the other day. I figured hey a little fun in the sun could do us all a little good, well that was the plan at least. I pack the sunscreen plenty of cold beverages, a giant bag of snacks, and a brand new book. I thought I was prepared! What turned out to be a fun day at the park turned into what I will call literally a shit mess!!

The first time my son, who is almost three and on the tail end of potty training said he had to go potty momma was off and running for the bathroom. I come out of the bathroom beaming with joy, thinking to myself my son is potty trained, it has been 4 days since we had and accident things are looking good in this department. Well that’s what I thought; I had a big surprise in store for me just around the corner.

We marched back to our blanket to resume our fun in the sun, and my son trots off to go play with his sister. About 5 minutes go by and my son comes running back,” Momma I have to go potty!” Now this time I'm thinking he wants to go play in the bathroom, he doesn't need to pee he just went. So I send him on his way and say go play. The next thing I know my son in running at me, “Momma I have to go pee I have to go pee!” Now he is grabbing his butt. Uh oh!!! We take off running. The whole time I am thinking to myself please God do not let anything fall out please do not let anything fall out, we can make it, we're almost there. Yeah, we didn’t make it. And this is where a very unprepared momma comes into play. I pull his pants down and sit him on the potty to find we have gotten poo all over this bathroom stall. I'm beginning to panic, what do I do? Toilet paper is doing no good and where are the wipes? Oh yea, the wipes are on the counter in the bathroom at home. Now normally this is a good place for them to be but today was not the day. We were out and about and I should have had them there in my purse along with a new pair of shorts. But nope, not this mom, and not today. Now I am really starting to panic. How am I going to get him clean, out of the bathroom, into his car seat and home?

I leave him sitting in the stall and open the bathroom door praying my daughter was within sight. Thankfully, she was looking right at me when I opened the door and I was able to yell for her to bring me brother’s towel. Bingo, I did bring towels for the kids this just may save the day after all. But the big question of the matter was still how am I going to get my son clean enough to get him out of the bathroom and home. So now, I have a towel to wrap him in but there’s still the whole poo issue. Damn it why won’t you just come off already! I poke my head back out of the bathroom to scan the crowd. Who is an approachable momma our here and who will have wipes? And will the little girl who is spraying me with the water fountain please stop! Then I find my saving grace, another mom with two little ones who is sitting at a picnic table. I send my daughter into the bathroom to sit with her brother and make sure he stays on the potty. Now I am a very shy person, I have always been one of those over prepared people to avoid such situations like this. I pick my head up, take a deep breath and approach her asking for help. Thankfully, she was a very nice woman who was prepared with wipes and we were able to exchange a good laugh over the situation. I run back to the bathroom wipes in hand.

Now here is the final problem. What to do with my sons shorts. I don't want to throw them away, I mean come on its just a little poo and that washes out LOL. Cha ching no one is in the stall next to me, so I do the old-fashioned dip and swish. Dip and swish. Now I know this isn't what other mothers may have done but hey, it worked for me. I bundle my naked son place him on my hip, throw my purse on the other shoulder, and carry a soaking wet pair of swim trunks as far away from my body as possible. Sorry I just did not want these things dripping down my legs. All right change of plans kids. We rolled in here like a bat outta hell and now were rolling home just as fast. I pack up the blanket and yell at my son not to let his towel slip. All right lets head for the car kids.

As I type this out for all of you to ponder, I cannot help but laugh at myself and rerun through my head how I will never ever let this happen again. #1, never never leave home without wipes ever again. #2 always bring a pair of extra shorts and undies. And #3, its better to make a wasted trip to the bathroom than wash shit out of your kids swim trunks!