My son will be starting 2nd grade this year. It wasn’t so long ago that we faced that dreaded day for my baby to start kindergarten. It was a bitter sweet day that’s for sure. Bitter, because my only child was not a baby anymore. He was really a big boy and going to big boy school. And oh so sweet because day care was just way too expensive and that was one thing I could cut out of my budget.
From about the time he turned 4 years old all he could talk about was going to the big school Kindergarten. We did the count down from months, weeks, then to days. We went to meet the teacher night and he was even more excited to start on the following Monday. I Thought this is going to be so hard on me and he is going to be the champ, he is going to be a little rock star.
Little did I know. That Monday morning he was so excited for big school. We got him dressed in his new clothes; new shoes, packed his lunch, and gathered all his supplies his teacher requested. Off to school we drove.
We walked in and the nightmare began. Those big I can’t wait to go to big school eyes turned into big crocodile tears and fears. This huge dream was now a reality for my little guy. He was so scared. A new teacher, a bunch of new kids he has never seen before, and this huge class room. He held on to me for dear life and all he could say was, “Mommy, I want to go back to the red school.” The red school was his daycare that he had been going to for the last 3 years. He had made good friends and the teachers there were awesome. I spent the next 30 minutes trying to calm him down but anything I told him he would just disregard.
After about 30 minutes I am the only parent left in the classroom and still tending to my crying son. The teacher walks over to me and kindly says, “You are going to have to leave! He will be fine once you leave.” I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving my son crying and in an unfamiliar place, but she was right I knew as soon as I left he would be fine.
As I left that class room my son now bawling screaming for me to come back I just looked back at him with tears in my eyes and blew him a kiss and wished him a good day. As I walked out to my car I too was crying. My whole day was horrible; every time I thought about him I would cry. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was ok, wonder if he was still crying for me.
School let out at 3:05 and I was there early so I could get him and talk to the teacher to see how the rest of the day went. She said it was fine and that he cried a little more and then he was ok. He had a great first day of kindergarten. I would love to say the second day was a breeze. It was not but it wasn’t as hard as the first day that’s for sure. By day 3 he was getting the hang of it.
Sometimes kids look forward to starting new things and then realize it’s not exactly what they had thought it was going to be. They too have fears and we try to comfort them as much as possible. If I had let my motherly instinct take over at this moment, I would have took Landon from that class that day and probably never took him back. I knew that was not reality but don’t let this momma make you think that thought didn’t cross my mind. I was scared, sad, and had the same fear he had. Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs out there.
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