Twin Daddy Hawaii has had a pretty crappy day!

Pretty crappy

So my son Kaleb has learned how to take his diaper off and it has been becoming a nuisance.  At first my wife and I thought he might be able to make it at the carnival as a Houdini type baby since he can take this thing off with his pants still on but now we think we should invest in duct tape. 

The other day my son woke up later than his twin sister by about an hour.  This isn’t all that uncommon but when they go down for naps at noonish, the go together.  We put the kids down and my wife was lucky enough to have a lunch date with one of her friends so she left for the afternoon.  Khloe goes right down because she was up at the first sign of light but Kaleb is still being fussy so I go in and give him some more milk. 

I’m sitting on the couch watching the Chew and Kaleb starts screaming again.  Luckily I have a monitor that I can see what he is doing in his room and I see him standing in his crib screaming, thinking of ways to escape.  This goes on for a few minutes and then stops.  I’m thinking he finally gave up and layed down.  I look over at the monitor and holy crap, literally.  I run into his room to find my son with just his shirt on and crap all over the place.  There’s a dirty diaper on the bed and Kaleb with his pants off and him jumping around like he won the lottery. 

I take him out of the crib, run into the living room to get the wipes and diaper and run back into his room where he’s running around laughing at me, almost taunting me to catch him.  I wrangle him up and get him down on the floor to start my clean up.  This kids got it everywhere from his legs to his hands, under his fingernails and on his face where he rubbed his head.  It’s also on the wall, both blankets in the crib and now on me.  After about 5 minutes of clean up and ½ pack of diaper wipes, we’re going to try again.

As I put on a new diaper, I bring in the reinforcements using a pull up layered on top of the diaper.  I then found the tightest pair of shorts so he can’t pull them down, a new shirt, new blankets, sheets, and more milk.  I feel that he is ready to restart his nap. 

I’m now finishing my lunch and thinking about what I’m going to do for a few hours while the kids sleep the whole time watching this monitor incase he gets any other ideas.  He finally went down so I decided that I would join my family and take a nap as well.  It takes a lot out of you trying to get kids to do what you want.  Thank god for mommies because daddies aren’t always cut out for this work.

Aloha,

Twindaddyhawaii

Kids, I tell ya

Picking my daughter up the other day from school she tells me, "Mom Dawson's birthday is after 's Christmas and he said that I'm invited.  It's going to be a Chuck E Cheese. But he said for me to wait for him in the parking lot, he has to ask his mom and dad first."

I was cracking up. Here are two five year olds trying not only to set up a birthday party but a  playdate. Bella has come home several times talking about Dawson, how Dawson isn't very nice to the other kids but he's always nice to her, and how she totally likes him. UGH it's starting already!

All I had in response to her date at Chuck E Cheese was to tell her that if you get an invitation we'll talk about it. I'm all about playdates and Birthday parties but I'll be damned if we're waiting in the parking lot!

Happy Friday all!

No more naps for this momma!

You know you’ve done gone plum crazy when you wake up from a nap and are lying in bed waiting for your mom to get home. I layed in my bed for about half an hour waiting for her to come home. I kept hearing kids yelling and screaming and I was not about to get up until she came home to handle it. That’s not my job!

Finally the voices started to make sense and I began to focus a little better. The yelling and screaming was coming from my own kids and that was my husband’s voice. Oh shit, I burst out of my room still disoriented bouncing off of the walls as I made my way to the living room.  I’m sorry I’m sorry is all I could say.

I sat down feeling like an ass for laying in there and waiting for her to come home. I felt so let down but hey that’s the thing with our dreams we have no control what so ever over them, it just sucks when you’re half awake and having them. I really thought my momma was coming home.

Because we are concerned parents and we all can use a friendly reminder

 

 Halloween should be a fun filled night lets all remember that, but it doesn't hurt to run through some rules and guidelines with our kiddos. After all we love them and want to keep them safe. The Ugly Truth Of Motherhood bids you all spooktacular Hallows Eve and Halloween, lets all remember to pull out those favorite treats of ours, after all we did go to extreme measures to dress them and walk them from here to kingdom come.

Child Safety

NEVER eat any treats until they are examined by an adult at your home. Trick or Treat with friends or with adult supervision. Don't go alone. NEVER enter the house or car of a stranger. Trick or Treat in the late afternoon or early evening. Trick or Treat in your own neighborhood, and visit only houses that you parknow. Stay on streets that are well lit and only cross the street at the corners. NEVER run across the street and always look both ways before crossing. Do not take short cuts through backyards, alleys, or parks. Carry a flashlight or wear reflective tape so drivers can see you and you can see hazards in the street as well as other people. Only trick or treat at houses where the porch light is on and well lit. Carry a few quarters for a payphone so you can call home if you need to. Do not play with lighters, matches, or fireworks!

Adult Safety

Welcome trick-or-treaters with your porch lights and any exterior lights on. Patrol your street occasionally to discourage speeding motorists, acts of malicious mischief and crimes against children. Report any suspicious or criminal activity to your police department immediately. In many areas you can dial 9-1-1. Candlelit jack-o-lanterns should be kept clear of doorsteps and landings. Consider using flashlights instead of candles to light jack-o-lanterns. Keep pets away from doors so children will not become frightened. Set a time limit for your children to "trick-or-treat." Also designate a specific route for them to take. Feed the kids before they go so they will be less likely to eat the treats before they get home. Warn them not to eat anything before you inspect it.

Pet Safety

Don't leave your pet out in the yard on Halloween: There are plenty of stories of pranksters on this night. Trick-or-treat candies are not for pets: Chocolate is poisonous to a lot of animals. Tin foil and candy wrappers can be hazardous if swallowed. Be careful of pets around a lit pumpkin: Pets may knock it over and cause a fire. Curious kittens especially run the risk of getting burned. Don't dress the dog in costume unless you know he loves it. Otherwise, it puts a lot of stress on the animal. If you do dress up your dog, make sure the costume isn't constricting, annoying or unsafe. Be careful not to obstruct their vision and get your dog used to wearing his/her costume before the actual date of Halloween. All but the most social dogs should be kept in a separate room during trick-or-treat visiting hours; many strangers in strange garb can be scary for a dog. Be careful your cat or dog doesn't dart out through the open door. Walk your dog early in the night, before it gets dark.

Car Safety

Exercise extreme caution when driving a vehicle. Be on the alert for excited youngsters, whose vision may be obscured by masks, darting out into traffic. Motorists should avoid all unnecessary travel on Halloween evening, and when driving all motorists should drive slowly. Many accidents occur when motorists are backing vehicles out of driveways. Make absolutely sure there are no small children behind your car.

Flame Resistant Costume

When purchasing costumes, masks, beards and wigs, look for the label "Flame Resistant." Although this label does not mean these items won't catch fire, it does indicate the items will resist burning and should extinguish quickly. To minimize the risk of contact with candles and other fire sources, avoid costumes made with flimsy materials and outfits with big, baggy sleeves or billowing skirts.

Costume Design

Purchase or make costumes that are light, bright and clearly visible to motorists. For greater visibility during dusk and darkness, decorate or trim costumes with reflective tape that will glow in the beam of a car's headlights. Bags or sacks also should be light colored or decorated with reflective tape. Children should carry flashlights to see easily and aid in being seen. Costumes should be short enough so that children won't trip and fall. Children should wear well-fitting, sturdy shoes. Mother's high heels are not a good idea for safe walking. Tie hats and scarfs securely to keep them from slipping over children's eyes. If your child wears a mask, make sure it fits securely and has eyeholes large enough to allow full vision. Swords, knives, and accessories should be made of soft, flexible material.

Always use common sense, caution and adult supervision to make this Halloween the best ever. Have a fun, safe and Happy Halloween from Halloween is Here!

For more safety tips and Halloween fun ideas visit

http://www.halloweenishere.com/safety_tips.html