I Could Have Almost Died

I was almost done with my 1^st trimester and I’ll be honest I only had a little morning sickness. Yea sure, I had gotten sick a few times but not anything that was out of the ordinary and I could handle it. No biggie! My girlfriends kept telling me your almost done with the bad part after you hit that mark you’re in the clear, the second trimester is a breeze. I was looking forward to this. So I thought!

 

From that point, forward my pregnancy was pure and utter hell. I got sick and I got really really sick. If I ate, I puked. If I drank water, I puked. Anything that went in my mouth was sure to fly right back out of it. I kept thinking to my self. “Getting better, my ass, when? I thought this shit was supposed to end.”

My doctor gave me what I will the miracle medicine. And that was the only thing that would help me but he was only able to give six miracle pills a month. So for 6 days a month I was good. I new I wasn’t going to heave the last drop of substance out of my stomach, but what about the rest of the 21 plus days. What was I going to do then? Yep you guessed it I was going to bury my head and pray to the porcelain god. Now when I got pregnant I could spare to lose a few pounds and still have a completely healthy baby but I lost 15 pounds in the first 5 months. WTF, had I not been pregnant I would have been ecstatic but I was supposed to be gaining not losing.

 

One morning I am on my way to work. I had chowed down a can of peaches. They were my one all time favorite go to food because lets be honest it tastes the same coming up as it does going down. It was something easy I could eat. I stopped at the gas station to get my normal Dr Pepper, chili cheese Fritos, and mmmm those powdered donuts looks good. I think I’ll get em.

I dive right into that little white package of yum! I get a few miles down the way and the nausea begins to set it. Nothing new here, I’m going to be sick. Shit, I need to pull over. First parking lot on the right….A huge, because they are never small, Mormon Church. I whip my car into a space and thank the lord that it was not a Sunday because this parking lot would have been packed! I throw the car door open and pop my head out.

 

I can feel it coming I know it’s there but nothing is coming out, I’m heaving and still nothing. Then I feel it a huge lump of something stuck. The donuts are stuck together and are stuck in my throat. I can’t breath and I’m all alone. My life is flashing before me. I dig down and find my inner house cat and hack that damn hairball, oops I mean dough ball out. I was not going out like this and in a church parking lot at that. I have never been so happy to see vomit in a parking lot! I sat back trying to catch my breath. I begin to think I could have died right here and no one would have found me until the next weeks church services. I pull myself together and vow to myself no more powdered donuts, and I will never ever come close to dying in church parking lot ever again.

 

So with that being said, my pregnancy was not like most. From the very get go I knew mine was different. I hated being pregnant, I was so sick and uncomfortable all the time. And to be honest I wasn’t even sure I would like this kid that was going to come out and rip me a new one. Sometimes in life, you have to walk through hell to see the beauty in what lays on the other side. I love my son more than anything in the world, even myself. He has made me a better person, because of him I am a far cry from who I used to be.