Exactly What Not To Do

It’s Labor Day and my husband and I are in the garage working on our son’s dresser a project we’ve been at for two days. I’ve got a yard full of kids, my son is on his big wheel, and I’m hunkered down screwing screws in. Out of nowhere I hear a strange girl’s voice. I turn to look and here stands this “foreign exchange college student” and I can’t even tell you what she said to me because I was lost in where are my kids and who the Fuck are you. Before I know it I’m agreeing to give her 3 minutes to explain what she is selling which happens to be an educational program. She’s asking me how important my children’s education is. Um well hello unless you’re really a shit parent it’s pretty damn important. And that’s how she hooked me.

I start off and explain I’m not interested in anything I have to make a decision on right now, it’s a bad time and we’re kind of busy. Right off the bat this girl is way to open and personal yet throwing in I’m sorry if I’m talking a million miles an hour, she keeps using my name as if to gain some kind of trust. (Sorry but I see everything that can’t be proved immediately as a scam and I feel like that’s what was about to happened to me.) I feel like this girl has got her stuff down almost too well. She had all these names of supposed people in our neighborhood and community but, I’m new here and if you’re not my neighbor then I don’t know you. Something just seemed fishy. I politely sit and listen to her speech, I’m one of those people who have a hard time saying NO right off the bat, they always seem to catch me and I cave only to say no in the end, wasting your time and mine. Just as I’m thinking you said 3 minutes and it’s been like 5 she abruptly ends. I tell her thank you but I need to sit down with my husband and discuss all decisions that need to be made. She then asks can she have 3 minutes of my husband’s time, who is trying to finish putting the knobs on the drawers, clean out the old dresser, and smoke some BBQ ribs; I’m not involving him in something I already feel is a scam. I once again tell her thanks but if you need a decision on anything right now I’m going to have to say no. I even asked for a brochure I can sit and talk with my hubs about and she has only one pamphlet that she did give to me but I immediately look for an email address or a web site, I’d like to look it over if it’s real but I get  “I’m sorry but I don’t have anything.” Clearly while I’m looking at a pamphlet that is a little beat up with a customer service email address and a web address. Ok so either it’s a scam or she’s really new to all of this. I again thank her very much for her time but tell her I’m not interested. She closes her book and says ok now can I ask you a question not pertaining, ok sure why not. I’m not a rude person and I always try to be polite it’s something about me that is just me I can’t change it.

She asks to use my bathroom. I have sirens going off in my head; I know this is a bad idea. But am I just being a paranoid mom? What if she’s legit and actually really needs to pee. She walked up to my house with a backpack, a binder, and a water bottle so maybe she did need to go. My husband is home it’s not like I was all alone with my kids when she walked up my driveway. Against everything, I allow her into my house to use the restroom. I do a once over to make sure no one pooped and forgot to flush and to make sure that there is nothing in my bathroom that can easily end up in someone’s pocket. So now I’m thinking ok either she’s trying to snag something out of my bathroom or she’s giving me time to try and convince my husband to sit down with her. I don’t want to walk out of the house and leave her alone but my kids and everyone else’s, where in my front yard.  I’m pacing back and forth from the hallway to the front door. My son is trying to ride his big wheel in the street with no shoes on. I get him to the front door and am trying to squeeze his chubby ass feet into his sandals as fast as I can. They won’t fit, WTF. As loud as I can say I tell him to come inside so we can get his shoes on. I’m listening for any sounds coming from my bathroom. I hear the flush and water turn on but did I just hear my bathroom cabinet close? Ok now I’m tripping. I still can’t get my sons shoes on and this chic has been in my bathroom way too long. I felt like she was in there like minutes after the flush but really she could have been putting her hair back up, I don’t know.

Finally she walks out quick as can be shakes my hand picks up her bag, which she did leave out side, and is on her way. I’ve got like 5 kids surrounding me asking who was that lady what did she want. I snag my hubs from outside and pull him in to keep an eye on the kids and her. I ransack my bathroom looking for anything that is out of place. I can’t see anything out of place or missing. I do the switch a roo with Nathan to see if he can see anything. Nope everything looks exactly the same as it did before.

It’s been two days now and I’m still searching my bathroom to see if something is missing. I don’t know if she was legit and trying to sell me something or if she was trying to scam me. I shouldn’t have let her into my house but with my husband home I didn’t feel threaten.  Normally I do not answer the door for anyone I don’t know or people trying to sell me something.  I know I’m not good with these people and prefer to avoid them at all cost, I made a bad decision and I’m pretty sure even though nothing bad happened I’ve learned my lesson.

So the moral of my story today is

1 Never let a stranger into your house, even if it is a girl, you never know

2 Just say no from the beginning, don’t get suckered 

3 If they don’t know the website for the educational program which is clearly stated on the pamphlet you just handed me then you’re getting scammed

4 Don’t ever buy anything from someone who comes to your door.

5 Don’t ever tell someone you are new to the area, they can bullshit you all over the place!

 

I've Had Enough!

Let’s be real today! There are something’s as parents we do not like to think about or even accept. Since Landon was in the first grade I have been extremely worried that he may have a learning disability. While he does exceed in math, science, and technology, he suffers in reading and language arts. So this year as a concerned parent before school started I went down to the school and spoke to the receptionist and told her about my issues and what was going on with my son and my concerns. She told me I should stay on top of it and let his teacher know from day one what my concerns were and what I wanted from her as a teacher this year. So as directed by the great receptionist on meet the teacher night I explained to her my issues with my son and told her that I was concerned he may have a slight learning disability or maybe even suffer from dyslexia. She said she would stay on top of it and let me know if he started struggling.

On the first day of school when I dropped Landon off, I again stressed my concerns with his teacher.   I told her to please contact me at the first sign of him having any trouble in class. She said she would and we left it at that.

I have been in contact with his teacher on a weekly basis whether it was through email to check up on him or running in to get Landon’s binder. I have asked how he has been doing and all she has told me is that he is really trying in class and doing great!

Well like most schools now, Landon’s school emails me his grades on a weekly basis. This past Friday was the first day I have receive grades in my email from his school. I was excited to check them out. I just knew my little love bug was doing great in school. His teacher has told me many times…..

I click that email open on my phone and much to my surprise this is what I see…

Math                 80.7% B-

Language Arts 25.0% F

Reading           66.7% D

I almost died. How does a 2^nd grader get a D or an F? Really this is ridiculous! So come Tuesday morning, since it’s a holiday, this momma is going to the school and is going to flip shit! I’m done trying to go about this the nice way. I want some answers!

Do you have a child that struggles in school?  Tell me what you have done to help them, I feel like I’m running out of ideas.

I Could Have Almost Died

I was almost done with my 1^st trimester and I’ll be honest I only had a little morning sickness. Yea sure, I had gotten sick a few times but not anything that was out of the ordinary and I could handle it. No biggie! My girlfriends kept telling me your almost done with the bad part after you hit that mark you’re in the clear, the second trimester is a breeze. I was looking forward to this. So I thought!

 

From that point, forward my pregnancy was pure and utter hell. I got sick and I got really really sick. If I ate, I puked. If I drank water, I puked. Anything that went in my mouth was sure to fly right back out of it. I kept thinking to my self. “Getting better, my ass, when? I thought this shit was supposed to end.”

My doctor gave me what I will the miracle medicine. And that was the only thing that would help me but he was only able to give six miracle pills a month. So for 6 days a month I was good. I new I wasn’t going to heave the last drop of substance out of my stomach, but what about the rest of the 21 plus days. What was I going to do then? Yep you guessed it I was going to bury my head and pray to the porcelain god. Now when I got pregnant I could spare to lose a few pounds and still have a completely healthy baby but I lost 15 pounds in the first 5 months. WTF, had I not been pregnant I would have been ecstatic but I was supposed to be gaining not losing.

 

One morning I am on my way to work. I had chowed down a can of peaches. They were my one all time favorite go to food because lets be honest it tastes the same coming up as it does going down. It was something easy I could eat. I stopped at the gas station to get my normal Dr Pepper, chili cheese Fritos, and mmmm those powdered donuts looks good. I think I’ll get em.

I dive right into that little white package of yum! I get a few miles down the way and the nausea begins to set it. Nothing new here, I’m going to be sick. Shit, I need to pull over. First parking lot on the right….A huge, because they are never small, Mormon Church. I whip my car into a space and thank the lord that it was not a Sunday because this parking lot would have been packed! I throw the car door open and pop my head out.

 

I can feel it coming I know it’s there but nothing is coming out, I’m heaving and still nothing. Then I feel it a huge lump of something stuck. The donuts are stuck together and are stuck in my throat. I can’t breath and I’m all alone. My life is flashing before me. I dig down and find my inner house cat and hack that damn hairball, oops I mean dough ball out. I was not going out like this and in a church parking lot at that. I have never been so happy to see vomit in a parking lot! I sat back trying to catch my breath. I begin to think I could have died right here and no one would have found me until the next weeks church services. I pull myself together and vow to myself no more powdered donuts, and I will never ever come close to dying in church parking lot ever again.

 

So with that being said, my pregnancy was not like most. From the very get go I knew mine was different. I hated being pregnant, I was so sick and uncomfortable all the time. And to be honest I wasn’t even sure I would like this kid that was going to come out and rip me a new one. Sometimes in life, you have to walk through hell to see the beauty in what lays on the other side. I love my son more than anything in the world, even myself. He has made me a better person, because of him I am a far cry from who I used to be.

A little fresh air

Last night my husband and I were sitting out on our patio trying to have an adult conversation without being interrupted my one of our wonderful children. I look over towards the sliding glass door to see my son running out the door and he's jumping around. I ask my little man, are you ok? Yep, I’ve got to go pee he responds. I quickly tell him if you've got to go then go.

He marches right over the edge of the concrete, drops his pants and pees in the dirt. I look at my husband and back to my son who then proceeds to shake his head and then does a full body shake. I don't know whether to scold him for peeing outside or congratulate him on successfully not peeing in his pants. He turns in our direction looks at us and says so proudly “Look I did it like daddy!”

Now I don’t want my son peeing in the front yard by any means and I really don’t like the idea of him just dropping his pants to pee at any given time. But hey we all do what we have to do. If allowing my son once in a while to do his business outside saves me from cleaning pee off my floor, by all means go out back. My sons not the first and he won’t be the last. So the next time you see a little guy at the park peeing on a tree or peeing in a parking lot let’s give his momma a shout out, potty training is not an easy task!