A day at the pumpkin patch

On Monday I went on my very first kindergarten field trip and let me tell you what a ride it was. We are hauling 50+ students out to the pumpkin patch. Standing in the class room the teacher hands me a card with 6 kids on it, oh no what have I got myself into. 3 girls and 3 boys, another mom is assigned to my group as well with her son and three more of her other children. She knows who the boys are and I know the girls in my group so we split who we are looking after.  The teacher instructs all the students to empty out their backpack. Their pumpkin has to be able fit in their backpack. Easy enough right?

The bus pulls up and we begin loading up. Now I have not been on a school bus in almost 19 years, my daughter wants to sit in the very first seat behind the door. Ok well let’s squish in. I’ve got two girls in my seat and I’ve got one ass cheek spilling over into the isle, hey its ok I can brace myself on the other seat. We pull out of the school with the bus rockin and a rollin. I’m hanging on thinking I don’t remember the buses I rode doing this. The bus driver is laughing at me and well that’s ok buddy, it’s been a long time since I was on one of these things.

We get to the pumpkin patch and its udder chaos kids are running everywhere and it’s all I can do to even catch all of the kids in my group. We hop on a hay ride and they shuttle us out to the field. At this point you can forget my group, your group, and everyone else’s group. It’s one big cluster with kids running everywhere. I help Bella find her pumpkin, and a few others as well. At this point most of the students have picked their pumpkin and are loading back onto the hay ride. I look over to see a little girl in my group and another volunteer trying to shove this big ass pumpkin into a backpack. I go over to try and help just as the volunteer is walking off. This little girl, we will call Emily, has picked a pumpkin that is at least 3 times bigger than any other students. I ask her, “Are you sure this is the one you want, I don’t know if we’ll be able to get it into your bag?” She insists this is the one she wants. Ok, let’s see what I can do.

I open her backpack to find she has half of it full of crap. Two cups, a hood to a jacket she’s not wearing, about 200 crayons, markers, pencils, you name it, and it doesn’t open all the way.  Someone was not listening when they were asked to empty their bags. So I start trying to make room. Miraculously we got the thing in, but I could only zip one side and Emily was wearing her hood. Again I ask, “Are you sure this is the one?”  She’s not backing down she wants this pumpkin. She bends down to get her bag on her back and falls over. I bend down and help her up, make sure she is ok to walk and can get back to the hayride. I get a full group of kids that are not mine back to the hayride and loaded. Emily has her backpack on her lap. Just and we swing around a corner Emily’s pumpkin falls out of her bag. I let the teacher know that she’s got a pumpkin that is just too big for her bag and she says oh it’s ok. OK well if you’re ok with it then ok.

We get to the next station and I’m trying to get this thing back into her bag and it’s a no go. So finally I tell her ok I’ll carry it for you, they have given us grocery sacks because it had been rainy. I baby this damn pumpkin through the rest of the field trip, with the teacher even telling me at one point that bag is going to break and it’s going to go SPLAT. So I readjust this pumpkin making sure that I’m not going to send this little girl into a melt down over a broken pumpkin.

The trip is drawing to an end and we are loading back into the bus. Now I’ve got my two girls and this big ass pumpkin in our little seat that I’m sure has shrunk about a foot since we got off the bus. Now my ass cheek is really in the isle.  We make the rockin and rolling trip back to school. The whole time I’m thinking how is Emily going to get this home? She can’t carry it, it won’t fit into her back pack and she is a bus rider.  Who is going to help her? I hand off the pumpkin and can only hope she’ll make it home with it still intact.  As Bella and I are leaving I see the girls’ teacher hauling this thing to the bus I can’t help but think that thing took a roll or two down the bus isle.

I contemplated asking the teacher after the trip if she made it home with it in one piece. I couldn’t help it, in a certain way that became my pumpkin as well. After all I am the one who lugged that thing all over a damn farm.

I learned two things on this trip. #1 I will volunteer for any and every field trip that my child has until at least the 4^th grade, only to make sure that my kid is being watched and #2 my daughter teacher’s job is way harder than I imagined. Kindergarten teachers should be saints.