Well Child Check Up

Well I called to schedule Landon for his 8 year old well child check and they informed me that I had not taken him for a well child check since he was 5 years old. Wow time really does fly. I knew I had missed last year but really last time I took him he was 5? Ok well let’s get him in. Tuesday November 13 at 3 pm. He will be happy he gets to get out of school a little early and mom is picking him up.

First thing he asks “Mom I am not getting a shot if I do you owe me a dollar.” I just nod and say ok. I was pretty sure he was caught up on all his shots so I thought I was in the clear and the least I could do if he had to get a shot was give him a buck. We get to his doctors office and when the nurse calls him back first thing he ask is “do I have to get a shot?” she said “no you are all caught up till 10 unless your mom wants to get you the flu shot.” I said no and continued on.

Time to get an official weight and height

Weight 62 pounds (70%)

Height 52.75 inches (81%)

His doctor tells me he is going to be a tall lean boy. He has 20/20 vision and looks to be a healthy growing boy. He has Landon lay down and start pushing on his stomach and Landon tells him it hurts and he said its going to hurt a little because he is making sure his stomach is growing good. And then he pulls Landon shorts up and Landon crosses his legs so the doctor cant see his private parts. I had to explain to him that only mommy and the doctor should only look at that. He was embarrassed but relaxed once I told him it was ok. Now all he needs to do is the finger prick and check his iron levels.

And this is when Landon tells his Doctor. If it hurts I’m going to find you…. And I had to stop him because I knew he was going to say something inappropriate. The doctor just giggled and laughed I tried to tell Landon that it wouldn’t hurt too much but as soon as the nurse came in shit hit the fan. I had to hold his hand so the nurse could do it and he cried and cried and cried and continued to cry the whole way home.

Today we have a dentist appointment to get a tooth pull this should be a great time. I'll keep you updated on how this turns out.

Dead beat dad? You tell me!

Dead Beat… Think again bitch

If there is any one thing that I learned from my mom that I use on a regular basis it is to not call my sons father names or talk shit about him in front of my son. If there is any one thing that I learned from my mom that I use on a regular basis it is to not call my sons father names or talk shit about him in front of my son.

My Biological father was a real piece of shit to be honest. He left my Mom with 3 kids and never paid child support. For a few years after they split I recall him coming to pick up my brothers but he never picked me up. I am still not sure as to why. However my mom never, not once in my childhood ever talked bad about my sperm donor. (He doesn’t deserve the title as a dad in my eyes. I have an amazing dad!) When I was old enough to see for myself what a piece of crap he was my mom then explained what happened and, to this day she nor my “Dad” will not talk shit about the sperm donor. They will agree with me if I bring something up. But they will not on their own talk bad about him.

I do the same thing with my son. His dad and I do not see eye to eye and he left me when I was only 2 months pregnant. But I’ve not said one bad thing about his dad in front of him. Why you ask? Because, his dad is half of him. Maybe not now but someday there is that chance of him recalling me saying something and he brings it back to him. Like I’m calling him names or I think badly of him because of who is father is. Probably not but you never know.

I am writing this blog today because my boyfriends ex wife had the nerve to call him a dead beat on facebook the other day. Yep 2 of their 3 kids have a facebook account and seen this. One is 22 years old and one is 17. Thank god they know that is not the case. My boyfriend works hard to support his kids and makes sure she gets her child support on time but we are in the middle of starting a business. His check is a few days late and she has the nerve to call him a dead beat, on FACEBOOK (hello internet). I couldn’t believe it.

To me a dead beat is someone who hasn’t paid child support for months or years not, a half a week late. Someone that doesn’t give 2 shits less what their kids are doing, prime example my sperm donor. Since me and Curt have been together almost 8 years now he has paid her child support every month if not week by week. He goes out to Boston to see his kids that do not live here for Christmas and has a Christmas with just him and his kids. We also try to plan a family vacation every summer so we can go see his kids for 2 weeks. He would love to have all his kids  here with him. I’m sure one day they will all be here in AZ with us but until then we will just have to go see them when we can.

Sorry but this is not a dead beat dad, what’s your definition of one?

 

Come on, is this really something we should be saying to our kids?

Make A Wish

Standing out at the bus stop today with my daughter, waiting for the bus once again. My daughter picks a dandelion and just like our mommas told us, I tell her to blow it and make a wish. She looks at me with a sad face and tells me my wishes never come true.

Ok I have to admit that one made me feel a little sad myself, here my daughter is making wishes yet none of them are coming true. So I ask her honey what are you wishing for. She tells me well I wished I could go to Dragon Land (from the cartoon Dragon Tails), then she says I also wish I could see a unicorn, and then the last wish she’s wished for is that I would never run out of money.  My little girl is wishing for things that will never come true. Dragon Land doesn’t exist, she’s never going to see a unicorn aside from cartoons, and well shit I’m never going to have an unlimited supply of money. That is unless we win the lottery.

I sent my daughter off to school with a smile on my face. The innocents of our children, they are only little for a short time. They may drive us nuts but it’s the little things like this that make it all worth this wild journey called parenthood

Mom, Mom, mom, mom!

Ok so I am sure you have all see the Family Guy commercials:

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Ok so now you know the one I am taking about. Well my son is bad at this ,he says mom all the damn time. I however have learned to tune it out. Curt on the other hand has not. It gets really freaking annoying once Curt brings it to my attention.

Well Saturday we had a long day of errands and Landon was on a mission to see how annoying he could be. HAHA.

Mom why did they invent the toilet? Mom why did they invent fences? Mom why did they invent cars? Mom why did they invent air planes? Mom why did they invent houses? Mom why did they invent garbage cans? Mom why did they invent phones? Mom why did they invent dirt? Mom why did they invent cups?

Anything we passed he wanted to know why they invented it. As a mom I just popped back with a answer knowing if I didn’t he would keep asking until I said something. I mean really I don’t know everything but this kid seems to think I know everything.

Curt was about to go ape shit. I was about as annoyed as any other normal mom would be and well how do you tell your kid to shut up when they are just so curious.

Do your kids ask you crazy questions all day long everyday?

Twin Daddy Hawaii has had a pretty crappy day!

Pretty crappy

So my son Kaleb has learned how to take his diaper off and it has been becoming a nuisance.  At first my wife and I thought he might be able to make it at the carnival as a Houdini type baby since he can take this thing off with his pants still on but now we think we should invest in duct tape. 

The other day my son woke up later than his twin sister by about an hour.  This isn’t all that uncommon but when they go down for naps at noonish, the go together.  We put the kids down and my wife was lucky enough to have a lunch date with one of her friends so she left for the afternoon.  Khloe goes right down because she was up at the first sign of light but Kaleb is still being fussy so I go in and give him some more milk. 

I’m sitting on the couch watching the Chew and Kaleb starts screaming again.  Luckily I have a monitor that I can see what he is doing in his room and I see him standing in his crib screaming, thinking of ways to escape.  This goes on for a few minutes and then stops.  I’m thinking he finally gave up and layed down.  I look over at the monitor and holy crap, literally.  I run into his room to find my son with just his shirt on and crap all over the place.  There’s a dirty diaper on the bed and Kaleb with his pants off and him jumping around like he won the lottery. 

I take him out of the crib, run into the living room to get the wipes and diaper and run back into his room where he’s running around laughing at me, almost taunting me to catch him.  I wrangle him up and get him down on the floor to start my clean up.  This kids got it everywhere from his legs to his hands, under his fingernails and on his face where he rubbed his head.  It’s also on the wall, both blankets in the crib and now on me.  After about 5 minutes of clean up and ½ pack of diaper wipes, we’re going to try again.

As I put on a new diaper, I bring in the reinforcements using a pull up layered on top of the diaper.  I then found the tightest pair of shorts so he can’t pull them down, a new shirt, new blankets, sheets, and more milk.  I feel that he is ready to restart his nap. 

I’m now finishing my lunch and thinking about what I’m going to do for a few hours while the kids sleep the whole time watching this monitor incase he gets any other ideas.  He finally went down so I decided that I would join my family and take a nap as well.  It takes a lot out of you trying to get kids to do what you want.  Thank god for mommies because daddies aren’t always cut out for this work.

Aloha,

Twindaddyhawaii

Kids, I tell ya

Picking my daughter up the other day from school she tells me, "Mom Dawson's birthday is after 's Christmas and he said that I'm invited.  It's going to be a Chuck E Cheese. But he said for me to wait for him in the parking lot, he has to ask his mom and dad first."

I was cracking up. Here are two five year olds trying not only to set up a birthday party but a  playdate. Bella has come home several times talking about Dawson, how Dawson isn't very nice to the other kids but he's always nice to her, and how she totally likes him. UGH it's starting already!

All I had in response to her date at Chuck E Cheese was to tell her that if you get an invitation we'll talk about it. I'm all about playdates and Birthday parties but I'll be damned if we're waiting in the parking lot!

Happy Friday all!

No more naps for this momma!

You know you’ve done gone plum crazy when you wake up from a nap and are lying in bed waiting for your mom to get home. I layed in my bed for about half an hour waiting for her to come home. I kept hearing kids yelling and screaming and I was not about to get up until she came home to handle it. That’s not my job!

Finally the voices started to make sense and I began to focus a little better. The yelling and screaming was coming from my own kids and that was my husband’s voice. Oh shit, I burst out of my room still disoriented bouncing off of the walls as I made my way to the living room.  I’m sorry I’m sorry is all I could say.

I sat down feeling like an ass for laying in there and waiting for her to come home. I felt so let down but hey that’s the thing with our dreams we have no control what so ever over them, it just sucks when you’re half awake and having them. I really thought my momma was coming home.

Because we are concerned parents and we all can use a friendly reminder

 

 Halloween should be a fun filled night lets all remember that, but it doesn't hurt to run through some rules and guidelines with our kiddos. After all we love them and want to keep them safe. The Ugly Truth Of Motherhood bids you all spooktacular Hallows Eve and Halloween, lets all remember to pull out those favorite treats of ours, after all we did go to extreme measures to dress them and walk them from here to kingdom come.

Child Safety

NEVER eat any treats until they are examined by an adult at your home. Trick or Treat with friends or with adult supervision. Don't go alone. NEVER enter the house or car of a stranger. Trick or Treat in the late afternoon or early evening. Trick or Treat in your own neighborhood, and visit only houses that you parknow. Stay on streets that are well lit and only cross the street at the corners. NEVER run across the street and always look both ways before crossing. Do not take short cuts through backyards, alleys, or parks. Carry a flashlight or wear reflective tape so drivers can see you and you can see hazards in the street as well as other people. Only trick or treat at houses where the porch light is on and well lit. Carry a few quarters for a payphone so you can call home if you need to. Do not play with lighters, matches, or fireworks!

Adult Safety

Welcome trick-or-treaters with your porch lights and any exterior lights on. Patrol your street occasionally to discourage speeding motorists, acts of malicious mischief and crimes against children. Report any suspicious or criminal activity to your police department immediately. In many areas you can dial 9-1-1. Candlelit jack-o-lanterns should be kept clear of doorsteps and landings. Consider using flashlights instead of candles to light jack-o-lanterns. Keep pets away from doors so children will not become frightened. Set a time limit for your children to "trick-or-treat." Also designate a specific route for them to take. Feed the kids before they go so they will be less likely to eat the treats before they get home. Warn them not to eat anything before you inspect it.

Pet Safety

Don't leave your pet out in the yard on Halloween: There are plenty of stories of pranksters on this night. Trick-or-treat candies are not for pets: Chocolate is poisonous to a lot of animals. Tin foil and candy wrappers can be hazardous if swallowed. Be careful of pets around a lit pumpkin: Pets may knock it over and cause a fire. Curious kittens especially run the risk of getting burned. Don't dress the dog in costume unless you know he loves it. Otherwise, it puts a lot of stress on the animal. If you do dress up your dog, make sure the costume isn't constricting, annoying or unsafe. Be careful not to obstruct their vision and get your dog used to wearing his/her costume before the actual date of Halloween. All but the most social dogs should be kept in a separate room during trick-or-treat visiting hours; many strangers in strange garb can be scary for a dog. Be careful your cat or dog doesn't dart out through the open door. Walk your dog early in the night, before it gets dark.

Car Safety

Exercise extreme caution when driving a vehicle. Be on the alert for excited youngsters, whose vision may be obscured by masks, darting out into traffic. Motorists should avoid all unnecessary travel on Halloween evening, and when driving all motorists should drive slowly. Many accidents occur when motorists are backing vehicles out of driveways. Make absolutely sure there are no small children behind your car.

Flame Resistant Costume

When purchasing costumes, masks, beards and wigs, look for the label "Flame Resistant." Although this label does not mean these items won't catch fire, it does indicate the items will resist burning and should extinguish quickly. To minimize the risk of contact with candles and other fire sources, avoid costumes made with flimsy materials and outfits with big, baggy sleeves or billowing skirts.

Costume Design

Purchase or make costumes that are light, bright and clearly visible to motorists. For greater visibility during dusk and darkness, decorate or trim costumes with reflective tape that will glow in the beam of a car's headlights. Bags or sacks also should be light colored or decorated with reflective tape. Children should carry flashlights to see easily and aid in being seen. Costumes should be short enough so that children won't trip and fall. Children should wear well-fitting, sturdy shoes. Mother's high heels are not a good idea for safe walking. Tie hats and scarfs securely to keep them from slipping over children's eyes. If your child wears a mask, make sure it fits securely and has eyeholes large enough to allow full vision. Swords, knives, and accessories should be made of soft, flexible material.

Always use common sense, caution and adult supervision to make this Halloween the best ever. Have a fun, safe and Happy Halloween from Halloween is Here!

For more safety tips and Halloween fun ideas visit

http://www.halloweenishere.com/safety_tips.html

Birthday Blues

Not only am I a “Paranoid Mom” I am a “Procrastinator Mom”too.

You see in 7 days on November 4^th my son will be turning 8 years old. I am having his party the day before. This gives me exactly 6 days from today to get things planned. As of this morning at 11 am I had not sent out one birthday invite via email, nor did I make a Facebook event. So this Mom right here sends everyone a text message that reads… “Landon’s birthday party this Saturday bounce house food and cake my house.” Yep that was my awesome invite to my son’s 8^th birthday party. Gosh I’m such a terrible party planner. Oh well I guess these are the things that happen when you work out of the home all the time. It’s been a while since I have worked out of the house and let me tell you I am late to everything and I procrastinate all the time.

I asked my son last month what he wanted to do for his birthday party. Last year we did chucky cheese. It was a little out of the budget but it was nice. I didn’t have to pre clean the house and I didn’t have to do the dreaded after cleaning. This was well worth the money in itself. So Landon informs me he wants to have the party at our house and have a bounce house with a piñata. If that’s what he wants to do that is what we will do. The closer it gets the more I dread having the party here. I have to clean, buy food, cake, the piñata, and entertain everyone.

However the week before his birthday is always a crazy week, its Halloween week. This weekend he has been with his Nana and Popo doing all kinds of Halloween stuff. So we have yet to crave pumpkins. Guess we will be doing that Monday night. Tuesday night his school is having an event called teach and treat, I know he will want to go to this because it’s all he has talked about. Then Wednesday is Halloween. That leaves me Thursday and Friday to get everything done for the party.

Needless to say I am so glad I only have one kid to plan a party for if I had more I would probably call all birthdays off.

Some days you just gotta do what you gotta do!

So yesterday was one hell of a day with my 3yr old. Between screaming for snacks and movies, tormenting the dog, not listening for shit, and running off down the road I had had my fill. The last time I had to chase him down the street I was done. I marched his little butt right back into the house and into his room.  I had reached my limit and wasn’t sure how much longer I was going to be able to contain my frustrations. I did exactly what all the parenting books tell you to do, put them in a safe place and walk away. So into his room he went and he was going to stay there until daddy came home.

He screamed, he cried, he called me everything he could with his 3yr old vocabulary. I was a mean mommy, he didn’t like me, I was yucky, and he wanted his daddy. He threw every hot wheels car at the door he had, kicked it to the point I was sure he was going to put his foot through the door. But I was standing my ground he needed to be in there. He needed a break and I needed a break.

I see dad pulling into the drive way and I go to let him come out. I’m standing at the door talking to him through it. I get momma I’m so sorry, I be a good boy, I lub you. I just begin to crack the door open pushing tiny little cars out of the way and I notice something whitish on the floor. Oh God what now, are you kidding me, what have you gotten into. I get the door open to discover at some point through our day he has snuck a package of cornbread into his room. (For days the kids have thought that this box was cupcakes and wouldn’t listen to me telling them its cornbread we’re going to use it this weekend) I have my son in front of me laughing saying look momma this so funny, he’s covered in it. His toys are covered, the floor is covered, and my blood pressure is through the roof. I’m ready to cry.

Just then the door opens and I hear Honey I’m home, yes my husband does say this, only to have me respond come and look at this. What now is all he can say until he sees what’s in front of him. All I can say is go to the store, I need a drink. He chuckles and say’s how about I clean this up and you go to the store. I grab my keys and my purse and am gone before he can even spit out I love you.

The lady at the checkout asks how my day’s going and I start laughing. She says I bet it’s about to get better. You betcha! I tell her the mess I’ve just left behind and she starts laughing. She sends me on my way with the final words, “I don’t blame ya honey, go home and have yourself a good night!” And that’s exactly what I did!

She dropped a bomb on me

Standing at the bus stop this afternoon

Bella: Mom a boy kissed me on the bus yesterday.
Me:  What did you just say?
Bella: Yeah mom a boy kissed me yesterday, and I don’t even know why he did it.
Me: Bella kissing on the bus is not ok, as I’m picking my jaw up off the ground.
Bella: Yeah I know mom, I told the bus driver. (As the bus is pulling up)
Me: Have a good day but no kissing on the bus or at school, that’s not ok.
Bella: rolling her eyes, I know mom!

Ok really that did make me happy that she told the bus driver and I know my kid is only in kindergarten but shit, kissing already. She’s come home a few days telling me about boys that she “Totally” likes.  OK it really does kind of crack me up, but really? Already boys and totally liking them? I’m not ready for this, not yet, and why am I just hearing about it. I ask everyday how was school, what happened, who did you play with, what letter are you working on today. The questions go on and on, I have to poke and prod her to tell me anything about school and then bam right before the bus pulls up drop a bomb on me. NO Bueno! 

When I picked her up today we go over all the questions and I ask her if the “boy” tried to kiss her again. She says no but I still don’t know why he kissed me. Well I can’t answer that one because I thought at this age they’re not supposed to like each other. Boys are supposed to be gross with cooties and girls are not supposed to like boys until they’re 27.  I go over again telling her that kissing is not ok on the bus or at school, it’s against the rules and you can get in trouble. She tells me I know mom but he kissed me on the bus, and he kissed me I didn’t kiss back. UGH again how do you even know about kissing back. I’m ready to lock her away and keep her safe and sound.

Daddy hasn't even heard the story yet. I didn't want to drop that one on him while he was at work. Might just want to save that one for after dinner conversation.

 

What day is it?

Every day seems the same. I'm being shouted at for food from one of my children, I've found a pile of dog poop, I'm cleaning the same things I've cleaned the day before only to turn around and clean them again before the day is over. There's one mess after another, someones screaming, and I feel like I'm stuck in the freaking Twilight Zone! Groundhogs day does not even begin to explain it.

A stay at home mom's job is not easy. It's very rewarding in the sense that I see everything first hand, I don't miss a thing, and when all hells not breaking loose, I love it. But damn lately it just seems like it's the same day over and over and the only difference is that the messes are getting bigger, my kids are getting lazier, and my fuse is getting shorter and shorter.

I feel lost, like I no longer know who I am aside from the food fetcher and the maid. I'm struggling to find my way through this crazy life as a parent. Do any of you have days or what seems like weeks/months that just bring you to this point. How do you bounce back from the horrid Groundhogs Day?

Well I can tell ya I'm ready to crack open a bottle of tequila, cut my hair off and go brown, get a new tattoo, and overhaul my wardrobe. I want to go ape shit crazy for a day or two and figure out what the hell I'm going to do when Nate goes to school. Cause I'm seriously thinking I'm bustin out of this stay at home gig and figuring out just who the hell I have become. But in the mean time I'll keep on truckin because if I'm not handing out snacks to hungry rugrats all hell's breaking loose.

And I shall call you????

Do you remember when you were a little girl and you fell in love with certain names that you were forever going to name your make believe children and if you ever had all of them you’d probably have 10 kids, 5 boys 5 girls with at least one set of twins? Well the naming of my son didn’t come from when I was little but it did happen not too long before I found out I was pregnant.   

It was 2002 and I can vividly remember walking out of the movie “A Walk to Remember” and telling my friends that if I ever have a little boy I’m going to name him Landon. I loved the name, not so much everyone else but hey it was my name and I held on to it.

Well in 2004 when I got pregnant I said again if it’s a boy he’s a Landon and if it’s a girl she’s Lola. (But that’s a different story for another time preferably once you’ve had a cocktail or two) Anyways, around 20 weeks I found out my little bundle of joy was in fact going to be a boy. He was my little Landon!

When I told his dad what I was going to name him, he did not like it at all. But that didn’t matter I was going to be selfish again. He walked out and I was going to be raising my son alone.  My son, my name.  Besides I loved the name, it sounded strong, and I had never known anyone by the same name.

Fast forward 7 years, my son is a huge, huge, WWE Wrestling fan and he is always telling me how he hates his name. The last few years he has come up with some, well let’s just call them interesting names he would have rather been named.  Currently due to his obsession with WWE he keeps asks me why I didn’t name him Shamus, after his favorite wrestler. All I can respond back on this one is “for one I have never heard of the name Shamus and two I’m not a fan of that name, and three I would have never named you after a wrestler (Oh shit he could have been Hogan LOL cause you know my favorite was Hulk Hogan way back in the day) Well apparently Landon’s not happy with this answer because just about on a daily basis he asks, “Mom why didn’t you name me Shamus?”

What the hell, I tried to find an original name! A name my son would love and not have 5-6 kids in his class with his same name! Now he tells me he hates it.  “Oh well buddy you can hate it all you want but it’s your name and it’s not gonna change!

Soosh my son wants to talk about hating his name try growing up with a boy name like mine Billie. Now I hated that name! Are you happy with your name?

A day at the pumpkin patch

On Monday I went on my very first kindergarten field trip and let me tell you what a ride it was. We are hauling 50+ students out to the pumpkin patch. Standing in the class room the teacher hands me a card with 6 kids on it, oh no what have I got myself into. 3 girls and 3 boys, another mom is assigned to my group as well with her son and three more of her other children. She knows who the boys are and I know the girls in my group so we split who we are looking after.  The teacher instructs all the students to empty out their backpack. Their pumpkin has to be able fit in their backpack. Easy enough right?

The bus pulls up and we begin loading up. Now I have not been on a school bus in almost 19 years, my daughter wants to sit in the very first seat behind the door. Ok well let’s squish in. I’ve got two girls in my seat and I’ve got one ass cheek spilling over into the isle, hey its ok I can brace myself on the other seat. We pull out of the school with the bus rockin and a rollin. I’m hanging on thinking I don’t remember the buses I rode doing this. The bus driver is laughing at me and well that’s ok buddy, it’s been a long time since I was on one of these things.

We get to the pumpkin patch and its udder chaos kids are running everywhere and it’s all I can do to even catch all of the kids in my group. We hop on a hay ride and they shuttle us out to the field. At this point you can forget my group, your group, and everyone else’s group. It’s one big cluster with kids running everywhere. I help Bella find her pumpkin, and a few others as well. At this point most of the students have picked their pumpkin and are loading back onto the hay ride. I look over to see a little girl in my group and another volunteer trying to shove this big ass pumpkin into a backpack. I go over to try and help just as the volunteer is walking off. This little girl, we will call Emily, has picked a pumpkin that is at least 3 times bigger than any other students. I ask her, “Are you sure this is the one you want, I don’t know if we’ll be able to get it into your bag?” She insists this is the one she wants. Ok, let’s see what I can do.

I open her backpack to find she has half of it full of crap. Two cups, a hood to a jacket she’s not wearing, about 200 crayons, markers, pencils, you name it, and it doesn’t open all the way.  Someone was not listening when they were asked to empty their bags. So I start trying to make room. Miraculously we got the thing in, but I could only zip one side and Emily was wearing her hood. Again I ask, “Are you sure this is the one?”  She’s not backing down she wants this pumpkin. She bends down to get her bag on her back and falls over. I bend down and help her up, make sure she is ok to walk and can get back to the hayride. I get a full group of kids that are not mine back to the hayride and loaded. Emily has her backpack on her lap. Just and we swing around a corner Emily’s pumpkin falls out of her bag. I let the teacher know that she’s got a pumpkin that is just too big for her bag and she says oh it’s ok. OK well if you’re ok with it then ok.

We get to the next station and I’m trying to get this thing back into her bag and it’s a no go. So finally I tell her ok I’ll carry it for you, they have given us grocery sacks because it had been rainy. I baby this damn pumpkin through the rest of the field trip, with the teacher even telling me at one point that bag is going to break and it’s going to go SPLAT. So I readjust this pumpkin making sure that I’m not going to send this little girl into a melt down over a broken pumpkin.

The trip is drawing to an end and we are loading back into the bus. Now I’ve got my two girls and this big ass pumpkin in our little seat that I’m sure has shrunk about a foot since we got off the bus. Now my ass cheek is really in the isle.  We make the rockin and rolling trip back to school. The whole time I’m thinking how is Emily going to get this home? She can’t carry it, it won’t fit into her back pack and she is a bus rider.  Who is going to help her? I hand off the pumpkin and can only hope she’ll make it home with it still intact.  As Bella and I are leaving I see the girls’ teacher hauling this thing to the bus I can’t help but think that thing took a roll or two down the bus isle.

I contemplated asking the teacher after the trip if she made it home with it in one piece. I couldn’t help it, in a certain way that became my pumpkin as well. After all I am the one who lugged that thing all over a damn farm.

I learned two things on this trip. #1 I will volunteer for any and every field trip that my child has until at least the 4^th grade, only to make sure that my kid is being watched and #2 my daughter teacher’s job is way harder than I imagined. Kindergarten teachers should be saints.

Parent Teacher Conference UGH.

Parent teacher conferences are approaching this week. I have Landon’s at 6:20pm on Thursday to be exact. Well it’s no secret to you all that are following the blog that my son is really struggling this year with his grades. Reading and spelling are subjects he really struggles in and by struggles in I mean his grades in both subjects haven’t been above a “D” since school has started. At one point he was getting a 25% in reading.

With that being said I have came to the conclusion that I am going to request he be tested for a learning disability. It is something I have wanted done since last year but I'm putting my foot down as of Thursday at 6:20pm.

So with all this non sense with his grades and him struggling I know he isn’t doing very well. Today in his agenda his teacher writes a little note that says… “Landon is going to be receiving an excelling eagle’s award.” I am proud that he is getting an award but really he isn’t excelling. So really why would he be receiving this award? I am very curious to know what her explanation is as to why she is giving him this award.

I will blog about what happens at the parent teacher conference as well as her explanation as soon as I find out what is going to happen, stay tuned!

I'm so tired of yelling!

Does this sound about right? Well in my house that seems to be exactly the case, little brother and all. I'm about to lose my mind and so is my husband. God give us the strength to get through another day! I love my kiddos but damn I wish they would listen.   

Twin Daddy needs help!

What are we going to feed the kids today? This is a question I ask myself every morning, afternoon and evening. Realize that I was laid-off about 6 weeks ago so I have been spending a lot of time with my two-year old twins lately. My morning routine starts with getting up at 6-6:30, checking e-mails and waiting for one of the kids to start screaming and go get them. I get the one up and hopefully the other one will sleep a little longer. Get the one changed and juice and then, what to feed them. Usually the other one is up by then and now the same thing, changed and juice.

At this point I have two kids that should eat breakfast and I either make them pancakes, French toast or scrambled eggs. After all the trouble you think they would enjoy eating what I made them but mostly not. So I give more juice and a squeeze pouch. I need breakfast ideas!!

Lunch is painful as we either have chicken nuggets, fish strips, or pizza rolls. Any other suggestions??

Dinner is a grilled cheese, nuggets again, fish again, more squeeze thing, and then they typically don’t eat anything so we give them a protein milk thing.

Can some one give me a list of things to make for picky little eaters? I can cook about anything and I really got nothing going on right now so I have the time.

Please help!!

Unemployedhawaiidaddy

The missing glasses

So I have to say I pulled a totally bad mom moment the other day. My daughter wears glasses and its 5 minutes before we have to run to the bus stop, I ask her, "Bella were are your glasses?" She tells me I don't know mom you took them, I have no recollection of taking them from her but she is insisting that I did. So I'm running through the house like a mad woman looking every where for them. NO luck. Now we've got to go. Great I'm going to have to send her with out her glasses to school. Now the thing about this is my daughter doesn't need them to actually see her vision is fine, but she has basically a lazy eye that drifts to the corner occasionally. Its not the end of the world to send her with out them but not exactly a good idea either. I get her on tho the bus and run back home to search for the glasses. Not even 2 minutes after walking in the house bam right there on the shelf that I usually ignore is her glasses. If I would have given my self just a minute more and payed a little more attention I would have found them before she even left. I thought about taking them to school but really she's only there for not even 3 hours, a few hours with out them wasn't going to do any more damage to her eyes. OK so I pulled a bad mom moment. But reality is mom doesn't always know where everyone elses shit is! One that note I've got two missing shoes that I'm off to fine now. Happy searching for those of you out there that are missing something.

Liar liar pants on fire!

So here we are at almost 8 years old. My son has slowly learned over time what a lie is. If there is one thing that drives me mad is my kid lying. Well for one he is a crappy liar so it’s easy to tell when he is lying to me. And two liars suck. We all lie here and there but my kid has come to lie about shit that doesn’t even matter.

Let me tell you about a friend of mine. Well this person was known to lie about everything. He lied about stupid stuff he would tell people he won tickets to a concert on the radio however a few days before the concert tickets just flew out the window of his car. He told lies like this all the time so I don’t want my son to be like that. So I am trying to nip it in the ass now.

My son has lied to me about what he was going to eat at the neighbors house for dinner. Really if I am going to let you eat over there you have no reason to lie about what you are going to eat.

Just the other night he had the nerve to tell me he brushed his teeth already I told him to let me smell his breath… smelled like a pickle…. The pickle he ate a few minutes before… He didn’t back down he stuck to saying he brushed his teeth.

This is probably the best lie my son has told me….

Landon is taking a bath I give him a friendly reminder to wash his hair before he gets out. I know mom. (Cause he knows every god damn thing.) Landon gets out of the bath towel wrapped around him. I ask him Landon did you wash your hair? Yep mom I did. Well that’s weird because your hair is dry. Landon: Mom I dried it off with a towel. Me: don’t lie to me your hair is dry as a bone. Landon: I washed it mom me: Landon you didn’t wash your hair end of story quit your lying.

Ok so yeah my 8 year old thinks he can out smart me.

Do your kids lie? How do you break this bad habbit?

Is this an inconvenient time?

Omg I think we can all relate to this one. Seems like everything is fine and dandy until that phone rings and then all hell breaks loose. My perfectly content kids turn into animals any time an important call comes in. I admit I'm guilty of handing out fruit snacks, candy, cookies and well just about anything to keep my kiddos quiet while I'm on the phone. Now not every phone call that comes in do I do this but there are those important ones that I just need a few minutes of peace and silence in the house the rest of the time you can expect to hear just complete nonsense.
Hey it may not be something you do, or you approve of but we all do what we have to do to get our business done. On that note gotta run the phone is ringing LOL.

Get some Midnight Chicken!

Have you got a BBQ to attend or football party to through? Have I got a dish for you? Do you or that special someone love some hot wings? Well if you like spicy dip and a bit of cheese here's a recipe for a side dish/appetizer for you. No fail hot damn good everyone likes it they'll be asking how you made it.

2 cups of cooked Chicken (shredded, ground, or canned it really doesn't matter)

2 16oz cream cheese packages, softened

3/4 of a cup of ranch (you can use a ranch packet if you like thicker chip dip)

2 cups of shredded cheddar cheese

1 cup of Franks Hot Sauce (yes Franks hot sauce, use more or less depending on how hot you can handle)

Preheat your oven to 350

Mix in a big ass bowl

Throw into an oven safe dish and bake for 30 mins

Use paper towels or a spoon to get rid of extra grease

Serve with tortilla chips, pita chips, or any kind of favorite chip.

This recipe was passed down to me from a friend who got it from a friend. We have coined it Midnight Chicken because if you let the husband make it, it might be midnight before you can try it.

There are lots of add ins you can add to taste but I've yet to meet someone who didn't like it just the way it is. Enjoy!

Fall Break

Fall break is just around the corner for us here in Arizona. One week off and it’s still over 100 degrees. Wow what the hell will I do with my son? All his friends are going to be flying out of state to go see their dads so he will have no friends to play with for a whole week. So that means momma will have to entertain him. However there is a slight problem, I work out of the home now. I can bring him with me but how fun would it be for a 7 almost 8 year old to spend his time in a house while momma cleans? Doesn’t sound like fun to me.

Anyway here is my thinking on this whole fall break thing….

When I was in school we didn’t have anything called fall break let alone a week off of school right after school started only 2 months prior. Do they really need a break already? I mean seriously they just went back to school 2 months ago.

So for the next 3 months these kids got it easy peasy. 1 week off for fall break. They have the Monday after off as well. Then he will go to school 2 full days and then have early release for parent teach conferences on Thursday and Friday.

November, he will be off one day for Veterans Day and then have a 4 day weekend for Thanksgiving. I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t throw in a couple half days just to piss me off =).

December, well they will have like 2 weeks off for Christmas break. Seriously do they need 2 damn weeks off to play with their new freaking toys? If I know my kid right after Christmas when we go to the damn store he will want us to buy him a new toy after we just spent hundreds of dollars on Christmas. Yep sounds about how ungrateful these kids are now days… well at least mine

The Flu Shot????

Now I've got a question for you today. Flu Shots yay or nay? I just recently had to take my daughter to urgent care and the Dr. asks me right off the bat is she up to date on all of her vaccinations which I am a vaccinator, there are two kinds of mothers out there one's who are vaccinators and one who do NOT, so yes Bella is up to date. But then she asks has she gotten her flu shot this year? And this is where I really struggle

The last time Bella had a flu shot she was sick almost all winter, and I'm not kidding here. It was like she got over one cold/sickness to have another one hit a few days later. I made countless and pointless trips to the Dr. only to be told "It's a virus there's nothing we can do it just has to run its course." I don't know what to do. This is Bella's first exposure to school and I know kids pick up everything. I know she's going to get sick even if I don't get it but then again I don't want her to get the flu. I mean I can really go back and forth with the pros and cons but I am at a complete lose as to what I'm going to do.

How do you feel about flu shots? Are you or have you already got them for your kids?