The other night before putting the kids to bed my husband is sitting in the recliner reading to our two kids. He nonchalantly says someone smells like poop. My daughter pipes in it's not me, I think it’s Nate. Nate says not me I’m not poopy. Nathan says well something smells like poop. He doesn’t even look in my direction to question me; I’m sitting on the couch just watching this unfold. My daughter is down on the floor trying to smell her brother’s butt; she says I still think its Nate. Who at this point yells, “No Bella I’m not poopy!”
It’s time for bed and, no Nate’s not poopy. Nathan puts him to bed first and I go to put Bella to bed. Hmmm something is wet on my foot. I got to lay down next to my daughter to talk to her about the next day and I feel something wet on my other foot. I take a look down to find I have stepped in some dog poo along the way. Ok now I’ve told you before I have a mouth like a sailor I try very hard to keep this from my kids but at this moment I’m vomiting swear words out the mouth. My husband thinks that this is as funny as can be. He steps into my daughter’s room to see what’s going on, OH look there’s dog shit on the bed and Bella’s comforter. Nice I’m in the bathroom scrubbing my feet with profanities echoing off the shower wall.
My husband tosses her bedding in the washer and goes back to Nate’s room I walk in telling him you know this really isn’t funny, you just wait until it happens to you. I turn to walk out of the room and my husband loses it, he’s laughing and I can’t understand what he’s saying. So naturally I start to laugh with him, he stops me and says no you don’t understand you have poop on your pants, you sat in it. I twist to look back and sure enough, my puppy shit on the couch and I sat in it and didn’t even notice. Ok the last straw hand been plucked I was ready to cry, really you’re going to laugh at me like this and not even freaking offer to get me a clean pair of pants while I clean this shit up!
By now my daughter is back up both kids are running amuck. I get my son settled in his room and Nathan is trying to get Bella back in her room and in bed. I can hear them but can’t make out what they’re saying. Ok now both kids are back in bed and settled for the night.
Later my husband comes to me and say’s you’re never going to believe what your daughter said to me. I was like ok what. He say’s I told Bella to get in her room and she looks at me smart as can be and says, “What dad I’m not the one with shit on my foot!” It took him everything not to lose it right there and bust a gut. Nathan’s next famous line rolls out, “Bella bed now!”
Ugh hearing your kids blurt out some random profanity is not the end of the world but it’s also something you don’t want them running around saying at school, to their friends/family, or in a store. We’ve tried very hard to explain that these are adult words and it’s very ugly for little girls to say words like that. But still the fact that she so matter of factly threw it out there and used it correctly does make me a little proud LOL. Shhh don’t tell grandma!
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